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Vagina Wanted!

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 05:09:59 -0500

Anyone need a job?... well gumtree.com is a good place to start looking. It's free to advertise classifieds section means there's a real range of occupations being posted everyday. Now you can find the perfect job to suit your lifestyle needs!

As I was browsing this morning, I found just the thing I was looking for! It's good money and the employer sounds like a real nice, genuine guy, you know some one you could really trust. To put your mind at ease, he even makes a point about not being a seriel killer ... And hey! I met all the requirements!... Providing I have "a nice tidy little vagina, that doesn't resemble a butchers shop window" I was quids in surely!

To see this smooth taking geezers advert, click 'read on' to view more... and hey! Why not apply? you never know, it might tickle your occupation fancy!

BLOOD,SWEAT AND TEARS

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 10:56:59 -0500

Most of you will look upon Iggy pop as an old rocker who never wore a shirt and looked like he fell asleep in front of the fire and melted. Iggy though was a true believer in Punk Rock, and although he was certainly pretty jacked up on all sorts of tricks at the time, he did stick up for the millions of kids whose fathers and mothers tormented them for listening to the likes of the Sex Pistols and having a crush on David Bowie.

BUY ISSUE 1 & 2 OFFER

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 09:29:50 -0500

HELL YEAH ITS A DEAL ALRIGHT!!!
ITS 2 FOR 1

CLICK TO BUY

How to Tell If she's a slag?

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:53:02 -0500

Dear Shut,
If my six year old daughter performs a dance which incorporates the actions of sexual intercourse, with a particular amount of attention and focus on the position we know as 'doggy style', does this mean she's going to grow up to be a slag?

Yours Sincerely
Brad Parent

Streetwise

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 13:43:24 -0500

Vice have recently run an interview with Mary Ellen Mark who was one of the directors of 'Streetwise' A pretty direct look at young kids and life in Seattle in the 1980's. You can watch most of the parts on youtube, its well worth it.

Find He-Man

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 09:04:27 -0500

In my old town there used to be this weird monk type guy, When I think back, I'm not entirely sure if he was religious or just straight up crackers. He loved to walk though, he constantly walked, day and night across town dressed like Fryer Tuck...And eventually he became an institution in our town.

This guy here however is becoming something of a celebrity in Manhattan, the 'Find He-Man' blog publishes it's readers' reports and daily sightings of a seriously muscular and consistently shirtless man, who bears a distinct resemblance to the comic book hero.

Outrageous Record Sleeves

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 07:18:07 -0500

Yes! Looking for and/or at abysmally Bad record sleeves is one of my favourite pastimes.

I mean WOW the lack of insight is incredible... Not that I'm complaining, how could I? With gems like It's me, Mum! by Willy Whyton, or The aptly named Brailettes, a trio of blind female singers...

Roll out those ridiculous records I say! ROLL OUT!

Jacked Up on Acid

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 16:19:49 -0500

LSD was synthesised in the late 1930's, which lead to a boat load of weird and wonderful "scientific" experiments throughout the 40's and 50's.

Using an 'Any Excuse For Drug Abuse' Ethos, government experiments ranged from feeding LSD to military soldiers on duty, alcoholics and even unsuspecting Elephants.

Here is a great example... This is a series of drawings, by an artist 'under the influence'. As the time passes you can see how the artists portrait sketches of the dude administering him acid injections, gradually warp into magnificence as he travels deeper and deeper into his trip.

Made in Queens

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 11:08:09 -0500

We found this amazing photo of a dude on a BMX with what looked like a heavy PA system hooked up to the back, we laughed and nodded - it was a pretty cool set up. The we realised it was a photo from a documentary called 'Made In Queens'... Its something else.

Last summer in a rented garage on the outskirts of Queens, a group of imaginative tinkerers from Trinidad were working late into the nights creating something nobody had ever seen before.

DJ Holy Ghost

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 09:46:17 -0500

YO! Shut,
Holy Jesus Mother of GOD!! this party we went to last weekend was OOOOOFFFFF ITTTTT! I aint kidding ya, fellas crashing an breaking moves, old folks boshing pills and all sorts of techno troubles!! DJ Holy ghost was ripping it up, his main disciple MC David Rodigan was farrrst and furious as always, full R.E.S.P.E.C.T to them both!! Best party this side of Heaven! -Mary

Theory of Colour

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 09:57:12 -0500

Jamie Patton is a 23 year old artist from Leeds. He has recently started getting some of his work about and has just created a blog spot worthy enough to display his glorious varicoloured drawings. They are both trippy, creepy and marvellous... read on to see more!

Shorty's - The Velvet Orchestra

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 12:04:42 -0500

"When it comes to our show we just love to have fun. Its like dancing around in your bedroom...but im behind a drum kit, so change that, its like playing air drums in your bedroom"...

Call this a call centre?

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 11:20:09 -0500

Virgin call centres took it upon them selves to re brand their offices, they got help from a company named houshold design and let them pretty much get too it. The reason; because the average age of a call centre employee is 23 and what 23 year old is going to get a kick out working in a shabby shit office with one of those funny monkey posters on the wall or a talking fish clock...

Meet The Bookers

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 14:01:26 -0500

OOoooof, shiver me timbers, it's nearly time for another breath taking chin and jaw combo dropping edition of the award winning* SHUT magazine!! We are introducing a literature section as well as full album reviews (by full I mean we are putting at least 80% into writing them). So if you want your zine, book or album reviewed then best get posting...

Harvey Milk (Interview)

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 08:50:43 -0500

Some bands gain "legendary' status by writing anthems that can relate to an entire generation of people, who tour the arenas of the world year after year or just simply kill themselves. Others just kinda stumble unwittingly into it. Meet Harvey Milk. They're the stumbling kind. But those in the know say "legendary', albeit on a much smaller scale than usual.

bear hands

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 09:10:08 -0500

It seems odd that bands like bear hands exist and still somehow belong in that 'unsigned' bracket within music. They recently agreed to do an interview with us for our next issue which is out in September, if they don't have a deal by then then i'll eat my own leg and hop around screaming 'cunt' until they do...

MARK KOZELEK (sun kil moon) - Interview

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 04:45:10 -0500

Sometimes a musician comes along and produces something that is just... them. And it's even better when whatever it is that makes them unique, is also actually good. And better still when whatever it is that's unique and good, is combined with that ever elusive element - consistency. And then manages to remain consistent for a long time too. I like that.

Deep in the archives - foals

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 08:25:27 -0500

We interviewed foals back in March 2007, they used to play house parties back then...

...I remember my mum used to make me go horse riding when I was young. The thing is i'm allergic to horses, I only had to come within feet of one of the long faced bastards and I'd start sneezing and my eyes would puff up like that wasp dude from He-man...

VIDEONATION

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 10:42:15 -0500

vote for pulled apart by horses

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 09:40:29 -0500

Remember when i...

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 06:30:18 -0500

YES! The next issue is out in September ripe and ready to be picked for freshers week, the beginning of a new term, new semester and a new season.

In the September issue, along with our 'regular' music related interviews with SHUT Hot bands, Artists, Filmmakers, and general do gooders, we want a topic that steers away from the generic student guides which these days are frikin everywhere. So rather than a guide of how to survive being a student, we want to focus more on how how students throughout time have managed to do the complete opposite! We're talking about the head flushers, the pant wetters and the de-kegers. All in all, we want stories, photos and illustrations of embarrassing, amazing or just plain unfortunate incidents from school, college or university...
read more about how to contribute...

Bum Shot - Spencer Tunick in Dublin & Cork

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 05:53:19 -0500

Spencer Tunick is yet again calling all fellow, Naturists, Flashers and Mooners, for his next installation of group nudity this month in Cork and Dublin Docks, Ireland.

His critically acclaimed images display masses of naked men and women in various locations around the world. He contrasts the human body against natural surroundings and landscapes, as well as buildings and public areas, such as town squares and train stations. The Images present humans as oddities, revealing that without our clothes, we don't quite have the ability to fit in to the world comfotably... in fact we look almost parasitic or alien.

Dillinger Escape Plan Interview

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 12:27:20 -0500

After a three year break, Dillinger Escape Plan came back to the UK and with no surprise, they were still as brutal as ever. With an eclectic new album that ranges from catchy pop-metal songs to the unmistakable trademark warped sound of DEP, the boys mean business. After an insanely furious performance at Leeds Cockpit a couple of months ago, we spoke to a rather humble Ben Weinman about how recent times have been for the band....

Monica Nelson

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 02:04:59 -0500

Its 8 am, thats dedication for you right there! I'd be sleeping but outside my window there is a sceeching sound, much like that of a cat chewing on the tail of a dinosaur... sleeping is not an option.

...Instead, I have spent the morning looking at the work of graphic designer Monica Nelson. She lives and works in New York City and she recently graduated from Pratt Institute. Her work is heavily type based but she mixes it up quiet well with simple, strong illustration and photography.

Or�li Interview

Fri, 30 May 2008 06:19:33 -0500

"Fairytales, cartoons, nice monsters, magicians, witches, talking animals... they all fascinate me!"

28 year old female artist Or�li from Bruxelles, Belgium discusses her stylized and colourful images of animals and nature along wth her other fascinating creations.

Tree Jumper

Tue, 27 May 2008 15:05:39 -0500

No, I'm not on about some sex pest who surprises their victims by launching themselves from the branches of trees.

No, I'm literally on about knitted, weaved and crocheted jumpers for trees! I know what your thinking! How have those leafy creatures managed to survive without them all this time?...All I can say is "Who knows?" but its about time they had something protecting their previously frost bitten, barky limbs.

...Worried about your Palms, dahlia's and cacti?...well If you crack on with your knit ones, purl ones, you just might be able to save your perennials in time for Christmas.

Drew Milward Interview

Mon, 26 May 2008 04:59:10 -0500

I was sat waiting for Drew to reply, because anytime previously when I'd mailed him, his reply time had been second to non... However this time he just wasn't getting back. Impatiently I checked my sent box to recap on what questions I'd asked, wondering if I'd said something out of turn which could have explained his lack of reply... Surely i couldn't have, I had spent a lot of time over these questions... However when i actually looked back I found that I had never sent the questions, nor had I ever written them out... I had actually just dreamt that I had , and unfortunately it was ME who was in fact the ignorant one!

Sorry Drew... I really hope this doesn't start happening more in my life, It could cause a few problems.

Anyway, back to the reason why were all here... Ladies and Gents, here is one of my favorite artists, Mr Drew Milward...

Things Rachael and I argue about

Fri, 23 May 2008 17:37:24 -0500

Rachael: I'm hungry
Me: Then go eat
Rachael: What?
Me: If you're hungry, then go get something to eat
Rachael: Stop pushing me away
Me: How am I pushing you away? I'm sitting still
Rachael: You're mentally pushing me away!

This is a website which accounts the day to day torment one guy endures from his psychotic, paranoid wreck of a house mate Rachael.

Her weird perspective on life is so squew-wiffed that it is virtually impossible to imagine how she actually functions in the real world without going into a complete meltdown. Unfortunately for the guy, Rachael's ability TO still function has a devastating effect on his life. So much so, that in order to prevent himself from going completely insane, he has had to blog their arguments and her ridiculous rantings as a way, not only of venting his anguish but also as testimony should she kill him...

Guns for girls

Wed, 21 May 2008 07:13:08 -0500

Who ever came up with this idea should be shot!... aghhh, so shoot me for firing off bad guns, sorry, puns...

Ok, ok. so you can buy pink cars, pink mobile phones and floral tool kits... But what about glittery girlyfied guns? Up until now women have been without feminine weaponry, decorated with jewels, animal print and pearlised paint...

photoshop disasters

Mon, 19 May 2008 06:20:15 -0500

I love this, I love it so much. Finally a nerds 'glory' website! The one blogspot where they can sit back in their lazy boys in front of 6 monitors, 4 keyboards, with 48 chat programs open, a mountain of haribo, and a 66 litre jug of red bull, looking smug as fuck because they sussed out where the so called "designers" of this world went wrong.

They prey on the unfortunate, the ones who couldn't handle the pressures of deadlines and accidentally copy and pasted an arm onto someones arse. The rule for designers here is 'do not fuck up', because the nerds will find you and rip you and your work to pieces.

the justice interview issue 03

Sun, 18 May 2008 06:47:04 -0500

Some theorists, such as the classical Greeks, conceive of justice as a virtue�a property of people, and only derivatively of their actions and the institutions they create. Others emphasize actions or institutions, and only derivatively the people who bring them about. The source of justice has variously been attributed to harmony, divine command, natural law, or human creation.

Hotdog Acid Trip (video)

Mon, 12 May 2008 14:18:58 -0500

This is a deterrent if ever I saw one. That shit really fucks you up... especially when you're Jacked up on marijuana.

- click "read on" to view video...

The Land That Disney Forgot...

Sun, 11 May 2008 16:42:51 -0500

Abandoned theme parks, the home of Zombies, socially awkward clowns, Dinosaurs and those freaky witches from the Supergirl movie.

PHOTO OF THE DAY

Sun, 11 May 2008 07:59:28 -0500

Eddie Leonski (21/08/08)

Lens, Focus, Shoot!

Sun, 11 May 2008 06:46:50 -0500
Shutmagazine.com is launching It's very own photo of the day. The best and most interesting photos will be posted on the site. Winners will be crowned King/Queen for a day and your picture will stay up for eternity in our gallery...Awesome Power!

ANIMATAZMIC

Sun, 11 May 2008 04:55:57 -0500

Every Sunday Shut hand picks a selection of short animations for your lazy and/or hungover enjoyment.

Take A Look Into Your Future!

Fri, 09 May 2008 17:21:33 -0500
This would make a great advertising campaign for Olay!

This is an amazing collection of vintage photos, which document a woman's life from being a baby right through to her 60's. The first of which was taken in 1938 and the last was taken some time in the late 80's. Each picture speaks for itself and exemplifies the changing decades. Evoking a real mix of emotions... like not knowing how to feel about the woman herself, or whether to start worrying about the decline of your own fresh and peachy cheeks!

The Battle of Land and Sea

Fri, 09 May 2008 16:13:17 -0500
I heard about this band a few months ago when one of my friends told me how, when he and his house mates were in the kitchen cooking dinner together, he faintly heard something wistful, ghostly and mysterious creeping through the hissing and chattering. He told everyone to "shush" in order to hear what was drifting from the radio and for the remainder of the song they all stood in silence... After finding out their name he told me about them and following one listen it became the soundtrack to my sleep for the next few weeks...

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:09:43 -0500
Oh this is nice, no really it is....

Manuel Dominguez

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:00:30 -0500

Another great photographer, so go have a look....

What we found...

Fri, 08 Feb 2008 05:40:03 -0600
We didn't find anything actually, maybe some tic tacs and a can of sunkist. You should really check this site out though, its a magazine that has been around for a while, we just forgot to mention it before. People find things, they send them in, bish bosh. Have a look.

foundmagazine.com

Shut Issue 03.1

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 12:09:54 -0600
Shut 03.1 is out now, I dont know how to descibe this one, it's like we just felt like a change so we put a bunch of stuff in an envelope and made it look kind of nice. Some say we're ripping off another company who already do this, well don't panic everyone, we probably are. Go find version 03.1 in such great stockists as size, crash, the fav, out of step and hundreds of other shops, bars and places of good times...

KILL HIM, JUST FUCKIN KILL HIM

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 06:09:52 -0600
Shellac are pretty god like you know? I mean, they dont even do real interviews anymore, they kind of just got to that point where they dont need to be bothered. So i'm not at all sure how we managed to get one with them, anyway, you can read how they hate festivals and other stuff in Issue 01 of shut.Shellac's song Prayer to God made it into our new top 10 songs to make love to in issue 03, its how love songs should be...

watson takes skins further

Thu, 10 Jan 2008 14:16:50 -0600
Watch out for more exhibitions coming from one of the UK's best photographers...Starts 15th of January till 1st of March in Brighton.

Sun, 30 Dec 2007 08:18:29 -0600
The deputy came back from saigon last night, he was attempting some real journalism but forgot to take his pen with him. Instead he spent 11 days in a hut on pills. That then reminded me that you can now buy Disco Biscuits from your local shops, you get 6 for about a �1 (and to think people try raping you at �2.50 a pop).

wank at the paper boy

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 17:23:33 -0600
When I was eleven I did a paper round for one week to help out some retard kid who had fat camp or something, On my first round I was wanked at by an old man through his french windows. I dropped the bag of papers and ran back home, took a shower and wriggled in a teary eyed ball for a while....

Thu, 13 Dec 2007 17:52:00 -0600

fabric 38: M.A.N.D.Y

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 11:13:15 -0600
Throughout the 25 tracks, M.A.N.D.Y. tenderly tells a story that swells between moments of poetic ache and voracious hunger. Spanned on by deep, ethereal techno, glitchy staccato and bass-heavy machine funk, the tracks sparkle alongside eachother with brilliant elegance, breeding standout moments from Gui Boratto, Lucio Aquilina, Audion and the cream of the Get Physical crop.

Tonight in leeds!

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 03:32:05 -0600
Everyone is pretty much buying local shops out of whiskey today as lucero stroll onto our seedy streets and play the brudenell social club tonight (possibly the best and most convenient venue for Ls6 locals). Tickets are only �6, expect intoxication on a mass scale.

Sharking

Fri, 23 Nov 2007 14:09:50 -0600
The attacker first exposes and then (at least partially) removes undergarments to expose the victim. Normally, a girl wearing a skirt has it quickly flipped/pulled up, panties pulled down, and then the sharker runs away. This is what is generally meant by sharking and right now its about to get out of hand...